Manners of communication: how to make your speech literate and beautiful?

A person is characterized not only by his appearance, but also by his ability to keep himself in society. Especially it concerns speech skills, namely: communication manners, due to which a positive or negative opinion about a person is formed.

This concept includes the ability to communicate in the broadest sense of the word. This includes the tone of the story, and gestures, and literacy, as well as the ability to not only speak but also listen to the interlocutor.

Speech is a powerful weapon; great speakers, with the help of their monologues, had an almost magical effect on the public. That is why it is so important to learn how to speak correctly and beautifully.

The concept of "communication style" includes:

• The tone of the story. He can be calm, agitated, playful, domineering, etc. In a competent speech, everything is important - the volume of the voice, its height, strength, speed. Excessive length of the words can tire the interlocutor, and too fast speech risks remaining misunderstood.
• Distance. You can speak to the interlocutor in public, intimate, etc. The distance will depend on exactly how the person will speak (loud, quiet, etc.).
• Behavior. It can be calm, cheeky, restrained, insecure, etc. Gesture is also included in this concept. Physical movements are an integral part of the manner of speech.

Manners of communication are different: from dismissive or playful to serious and embittered. All of them, one way or another, are inextricably linked with the concept of "style".

It is on him that the emotional atmosphere depends, as well as the chosen correct speech means for conveying information. There are some techniques that characterize the spoken style:

• Imaginary dialogue (“I ask him ... he answers me”).
• The rhetorical question ("What could be a better gift than a book?"). With the help of this technique, the thoughts and emotions of the interlocutor are stimulated.
• Question answer. If the rhetorical question remains unanswered, then this technique includes its own answer to its own question. ("And what could I say? Of course not!").
• Emotional exclamations. They serve to attract the attention of the interlocutor and are a bit like rhetorical questions (“Are you still asking ?!”)

Due to these components, expressiveness of speech is achieved. An important role is played by facial expressions and gestures, they are an essential element of communication.

Body movements can say a lot about a person and his intentions. There is a classification of the main gestures that are used in non-verbal speech to convey this or that information:

• Open gestures. They talk about the goodwill of the interlocutor, and that he speaks sincerely. These include “open arms” when a person demonstrates hands, and his palms are looking upwards. Another gesture, which speaks of goodwill, is called "unbuttoning a jacket." It is necessary to understand it literally, that is, it is unbuttoning or even removing the jacket, which means that the person is comfortable next to the interlocutor and he is ready for a friendly conversation.

• Contrasting with open gestures are covert gestureswho talk about incredulity and doubt. This group includes the position of hiding the face with hands, rubbing the forehead and temples. On the secrecy also says inconsistency in gestures and intentions. For example, a smile with a hostile attitude suggests that a person thus hides his emotions.

• Protective positions. The most common is a pose with arms crossed, which means that the interlocutor is “defending”. In this case, you should change the tactics of the conversation, otherwise further discussion will come to nothing. If the interlocutor has clenched his fingers into a fist, then he is hostile, therefore, it is necessary to soften the intonation, move to a moderate tone, or simply change the subject. If the interlocutor has clasped himself on the shoulders with crossed hands, he is ready to interrupt the other in order to begin to defend his point of view.

• Gestures of thoughtfulness. The most famous reflecting positions are the position of the hand on the cheek or friction with the index and thumb of the chin. This position is respectful and indicates the interest of the interlocutor in the conversation. But if a person's face rests on the hand with the index finger along the cheek (while the other fingers are located below the mouth), then he does not agree with the position of the interlocutor. When a person closes his eyes and tingles the nose at the same time, he thinks about something intensely.

• What gesture can talk about self-confidence? If the interlocutor lays his hands behind his head or behind his back, then this indicates some arrogance and even superiority.

• Position "readiness". If a person is moving forward with the body, and his hands are holding the chair or are on his knees, then this indicates that he is ready to end the conversation and leave.

As for mimicry, here there are signs that can determine the mood of the interlocutor:

• Pay special attention to your eyes.. They, unlike posture, can not hide the true intentions. When a person experiences joy or excitement from what he heard, pupils expand, and with negative emotions the pupils contract. It is believed that to build a trusting relationship when talking, you need to look into the eyes of the interlocutor more than half the time (approximately sixty or seventy percent). Avoiding the gaze will not bring good fruit.

• A large role in facial expression with nonverbal communication are lips. A smile speaks of benevolence (if it does not contradict a hostile posture), if the lips are compressed, then the interlocutor is closed, with a curved lip one can read a sarcastic mood in a person. With sadness and bad mood, the corners of the mouth fall. A smile is a powerful weapon and helps in creating a relaxing atmosphere.

A knowledge of sign language and facial expressions of the interlocutor will be a great advantage during a conversation and will allow you to control any, even a conflict, situation.

To change your communication skills for the better, you need to use the following recommendations:

• Should read more classic literature (better even out loud and with expression). And it is important, after reading this or that book, to retell the content in the most competent and understandable way, avoiding unwanted and unnecessary words. It is better to record your retelling on the recorder, and then listen to it in order to analyze your mistakes and understand how it sounds from the outside. It is necessary to take into account not only the vocabulary itself, but also the tone of the narration, the speed and volume of speech. The same applies to viewed films, their retelling will help to understand exactly where the mistakes were made and what should be corrected.

• To own an elite speech, it is important to expand the vocabulary. To do this, you need not only to read books, but also to clarify the meanings of all incomprehensible and unfamiliar words.It is better to get yourself a separate notebook, in which the interpretation of words should be recorded. Only they should be used properly and in accordance with the situation. One or another learned new expression will not make a positive impression on the interlocutor, if it is said “out of place”.

• In addition to reading classical literature, newspapers and magazines, you can solve crossword puzzles, they also expand vocabulary with new concepts. You can buy educational games in stores and play with friends (for example, “guess the word by description” and vice versa).

• Speech should be not only literate, but also beautiful. You can decorate it with various figurative expressions, metaphors, epithets and comparisons. You can find them in poetry collections. This is such an appropriate addition that will indicate reading and literacy. The main thing here - do not overdo it.

• Getting rid of parasitic words - This is one of the main criteria for correct speech. This determines the ability of a person to control his words, to hold with dignity and confidently. The most common undesirable words are: in general, well, as it were, it is, in short, etc. All these phrases do not carry any semantic load, they just litter speech and often interfere with its perception. The same can be said about the slang terms, they are simply incompatible with a competent and beautiful speech, they must be deleted.

• During a conversation, it is important not only to monitor the content of speech, but also for intonation. Important words, spoken quietly and monotonously, will not be heard and perceived by the interlocutor, and a serious statement, said in a joking manner, will cause dissonance among the people around. Much depends on intonation. For example, a dog does not understand the words and their meanings, but captures the intonation in the host’s voice: when he praises it, and when he scolds his tone changes, the intonation takes on one or another color. People can also be influenced by intonation, so this concept should not be relegated to the background.

• You can train in beautiful speech not in front of people, but in front of a mirror. You should tell yourself some passage from prose, a poem, or simply describe this or that event, while watching mimicry, gestures, speed of pronunciation and intonation.

There is another interesting exercise that will help you quickly and confidently select the right words. You need to choose some object that is in the house (lamp, refrigerator, box, etc.), then start the stopwatch for five minutes (then more) and tell about this subject in competent language using trails and stylistic figures. At first it will not be easy (five minutes to talk about the comb), but each time the words will come to mind faster and more diverse.

Thus, observing all these rules, it will be possible to change your manner of speaking for the better, thereby gaining confidence and ability to stay in society.

How to learn to speak beautifully and competently, see the next video.