How to learn to communicate with people?

With the advent of mankind there was a great need for communication. Even in ancient times, without him it was impossible to warn a tribesman, to express his sympathy to a woman, to teach children to survive and hunt, passing on to them their knowledge and skills. Today we have a clear system of symbols, through which we can say absolutely everything that we think. But even in modern society, some people have difficulties in communication and do not always know how to overcome them.

From birth, we begin to learn the language in which we subsequently speak all our life. However, the ability to pronounce sounds in the correct sequence does not mean that we have the art of communication, it can be compared with onomatopoeia. A person speaks when there is a sense in his words, when they are used with some meaning in a particular situation.

As one grows older one has to communicate more and more His successful socialization in kindergarten, the ability to “get accustomed” at school, the degree of success at the university and at work depend on this. Communicating with peers, it is important to try to become for them an interesting conversationalist, to be able to attract attention. Adults should see in you a worthy opponent, a person with whom it is pleasant to deal with.

But to be interesting enough for everyone is difficult, and for some this goal may be practically unattainable. There are several factors that prevent people from fully communicating:

• Personal complexes and self-doubt. In this case, the person simply does not believe that he can interest someone in conversation, hesitates to express his thoughts and ideas.
• The opposite phenomenon - heightened self-esteem. Such people put themselves above others. Surrounding people do not understand them and do not seek to contact them.
• Active use of social networks. Online communication can cause fear of real meetings, self-doubt.
• Poor intellectual development. A small set of knowledge narrows the range of topics on which people can communicate, because with him it quickly becomes boring.

Communication has always played an important role in human life. As soon as people learned to communicate with each other, it became important to properly build a dialogue, to please someone who likes it, even to verbally punish the offender. In a person's life there are so many different factors that you need to be able to control and subordinate to yourself, that without the skills of correct communication, nothing can happen. In addition, the consequences of inability to conduct a dialogue can even negatively affect your life.

At work, you may not be promoted, even if you are worth it simply because you are unable to successfully establish contacts and conduct business negotiations. In family life, you also will not be able to avoid problems if you do not learn to find a common language with a partner. If you do not have common topics for conversation, or you can not resolve disputes and find a compromise, the relationship may "crack."

All modern society is based on the ability to properly build speech and contact with others. Famous politicians, scientists and artists would not be so famous if they could not by one word subordinate the attention of a large number of people.

In modern society, the ability to properly conduct conversation is an important aspect. In the process of communication, the interlocutors perceive each other, exchange information, personal and business interaction, and search for solutions.

If you do not get the oratorical skills from nature, do not “hang your nose” and give up. The ability to speak beautifully and achieve the desired results in a conversation can be learned independently. The main thing is to know what is required for this. For effective communication, it is important to decompose the communication process into components and specifically work out each of them:

• The acquisition of self-confidence is an important moment. First of all, to learn to communicate normally, you need to start respecting yourself. You must confidently express your thoughts, even if they are wrong, because your point of view has a right to exist. Your opponent will understand that you need to reckon with what your judgments make sense, and you can listen to them.
• Try to cope with fear. Many self-doubtful people passively behave in dialogue. They are afraid to ask questions, be interested in something, express their opinions, so as not to bring down the resentment of others. They are afraid of judgmental views, possible unpleasant comments in their address. Do not be afraid to talk as you like; ask about everything that interests you.

• Treat your partner respectfully and tactfully.. Do not interrupt the speaker, give him the opportunity to fully express himself, even if you disagree with his arguments. Only then calmly express your opinion.
• Try not to be distracted by extraneous topics.. The ability to beautifully and competently express your thoughts, while speaking essentially, will allow you to quickly earn respect in society.
• Must be able to inspire confidence interlocutor. To achieve this goal you need quite a bit - just look your partner in the eye. Thanks to eye contact, you can easily establish a connection. If a person lowers or hides his gaze, his behavior is not always perceived as a sign of restraint. More often it is regarded as insincerity or even a lie. Such a conversation will bring you nothing good.

• It is important to show a genuine interest in the interlocutor. During a conversation with an unfamiliar person, you need to give him the opportunity to talk about himself, to express his thoughts. Do not say much. A monologue can quickly tire a person, and he is unlikely to want to talk with you again. You need to make people feel at ease in your company. Interest in the conversation should be mutual. Do not forget to use the name of your opponent. This nuance will also show your interest in it.
• It is also important to be able to ask the right questions. This is especially necessary if you are just meeting a person and want to know more about him. The art of correctly asking questions gives you the opportunity to receive full-fledged detailed answers instead of the reserved "yes" or "no." So you can make the conversation easy and interesting, allowing your partner to feel confident and free in your society.
• Use of knowledge and knowledge - no less important point. A person with a large stock of knowledge, it is easier to start and maintain any conversation. Communication with such people gives a lot of positive emotions to all interlocutors.

If you want to take an active part in discussions, and sometimes even become the initiator of a conversation, it is important to be able to attract people to yourself, to be interesting to others. Properly chosen topic is half the success. If you prepare in advance for the conversation, read as much information as possible on this issue, you will be well versed in it and will always find what to say.It is only important to give information in portions and at the right moments, otherwise the communication will be similar to the report.

That the topic of conversation was interesting and convenient for everyone It is important to clarify whether someone objects to this conversation, and only then begin an active discussion. The reluctance of someone from the group to communicate can show his weak knowledge in this matter or great self-doubt. If a person does not protest, but does not take part in communication, you need to involve him in the conversation, ask for his opinion. Gradually, the person will gain confidence and become a participant in the conversation.

In order for communication in the team to be pleasant and easy, it is important to take into account only two main factors. The most important thing is to find an individual approach to each team member or a specific conversation. If you communicate with new people, try to share common phrases with each participant in the conversation to form an opinion about him, determine the type of his temperament, learn about the peculiarities of character.

The second point is the ability to listen. We know how to speak since childhood, but the art of attentive attitude towards the interlocutor is much more important. This is necessary to make the conversation interesting, informative and enjoyable for all participants. Do not interrupt the narrator. So you make the impression of an uncultured person. In addition, your intervention may confuse the speaker. Respect all participants in the conversation, and you will be treated as well.

Getting to know someone of the opposite sex requires special skills. Even with self-confidence and positive communication experience with their peers, it is not easy to begin communication with a representative of the opposite sex. To make acquaintance pleasant for both parties, it is important to adhere to some tips:

• Be natural. Do not try to constantly joke or be overly serious. If you want to make a good impression, be yourself. Sincerity will help attract attention to you, and then conquer your future soul mate. This is the only way you can make communication alive and fun.
• Starting a conversation, follow not only the vocabulary, but also the correctness of humor and the topics raised in the conversation. Inappropriate jokes and too personal questions can not only not interest a person, but even push him away.
• When you first meet keep your distance, respect your personal space. You should not embrace the opposite sex representative without his consent. At the beginning of interaction, it is better to focus on building a dialogue.
• At the first contact, it is important to often look at the other person’s eyes and smile sincerely. This will show your openness, interest and sympathy for the person. Only in this way you will have a pleasant conversation, which can later develop into something more.

In the process of daily communication, we are faced with a huge number of people. Different characters, upbringing, social status, age and many other nuances affect the process of communication with each specific person. You must learn to apply an individual approach to different interlocutors, otherwise you may find yourself in an unpleasant situation.

Each person is a unique person, and this must be considered. If you disagree with someone, do not immediately criticize him. Easy express your point of view and try to find a compromise.

Communicating with some people, it is not necessary to discuss others. First, your words may, sooner or later, “reach” to the object of your conversation. Secondly, the reputation of a person who discusses and criticizes everyone will not bring you popularity. On the contrary, you will alienate people from yourself. Few will want to communicate openly with such an unpleasant person.

In order to build a dialogue with any interlocutor, it is important to treat him with respect, try to understand the peculiarities of his character, select topics that interest both sides of the dialogue. Before fiercely entering into a discussion with a stranger, it is worth checking the “ground”, talking about something neutral.

Often, insecure people are afraid to start communicating with someone unfamiliar. Such individuals can be difficult to find friends, start a romantic relationship. In conversation, they are afraid to take the initiative, because for them it is unacceptable to condemn their point of view, the risk of hearing a ridicule in their address.

Such fear is often associated with events that occurred in childhood or adolescence. During these periods, the human psyche is still unstable, and it is easy for it to inflict an irreparable blow.

If you are embarrassed to start a conversation or take an active part in discussions and cannot cope with it on your own, try special exercises. They will help you to relax and gain self-confidence.

To make communication with you interesting and enjoyable, do not forget about the main points:

• be tactful and polite, respectful to the other person;
• carefully select words and intonation to talk, so as not to offend anyone;
• do not underestimate the role of gestures, according to them, many "read" your mood and attitude to the conversation;
• be attentive to people, and they will answer you the same.

Useful tips on communication skills can be found in the following video.