Important rules of conduct in a conflict situation

Due to excessive temper and irritability, it is often not possible to resolve the conflict peacefully. However, even when the interlocutor refuses to understand his opponent, one should not forget about the banal norms of etiquette and rules of conduct, usually familiar to many from childhood. It is also worth paying attention to the advice of psychologists-conflictologists - professionals in solving controversial situations.

To identify the main rules of behavior, you need to start with the definition of conflict. This is a situation in which they participate from two parties that hold a certain position that does not meet the interests of the opponent or several opponents. Conflicts occur due to the discrepancy between the interests of certain individuals or groups of people. The rules of conduct in a conflict situation determine the nature of the discussion.

The conflict itself includes three main phases:

• Awareness. The parties come to the understanding that their interests do not converge, the interaction between them takes on the character of confrontation.
• Strategy. After understanding the differences in their positions, the parties determine the lines of conduct that serve as the source for resolving the issue or problem.
• Act. The subjects of the quarrel determine effective ways of action, depending on the goal that they wish to achieve in the end. The final stage can lead to a compromise, a unanimous opinion, or the fact that each participant will remain in the starting position.

As a rule, quarrels arise spontaneously and are accompanied by the manifestation of strong emotional reactions. Sometimes a conflict can ruin the relationship between the people who have entered into an argument because of its negative component. But the conflict has its advantages: in such situations, subjects can reveal contradictions between themselves, speak out and no longer hold negative emotions.

Effective use of these aspects of the situation helps to build stronger non-conflict relationships and to treat with great calmness the manifestation of complex traits of the interlocutor.

Social relations is a phenomenon that is not always easy to deal with. Sometimes the accumulated problems break out of control and turn into a quarrel. If a controversial situation has occurred, and participation in it is inevitable, the parties to the conflict usually follow five basic patterns of behavior that lead to a particular course and end of confrontation. These schemes are as follows.

Device. The essence of this method is that one side of the conflict silences its interests and adapts itself to the demands of another participant in the quarrel. This will reduce the time of a quarrel, but will not lead to a long-term mutually respectful relationship, because sooner or later the subject of the dispute will again be felt.

Avoiding Quite a large number of people seeks to minimize their participation in quarrels in this way. This is due to emotional discomfort caused by the conflict. In an effort to avoid such a situation, one of the parties moves away from the quarrel psychologically or even physically.

Compromise. This kind of problem solving is peculiar to mature people who are able to make certain concessions. The final decision will require some sacrifices from each side, but all the subjects of the dispute will receive a certain satisfaction of their interests.

Rivalry is a method of active interaction in which all the participants in a conflict occupy rather aggressive positions, trying to prove the correctness of their point of view. It is unjustified in the case of the desire to build a constructive dialogue and continue a long-term cooperation, because after some time the dissatisfaction with the decision of the quarrel will be felt.

Cooperation is the resolution of a disputable situation in such a way that the wishes of all the parties to the conflict are taken into account. In the process of resolving the issue, the parties discuss the problem and ways of dealing with it, voice their attitude to the situation. The result obtained necessarily satisfies all participants in the dispute.

Conflict is the same form of interaction and communication as everyone else. And even in the conditions of a conflict situation it is necessary to communicate correctly with each other. Compliance with ethical standards will not allow a quarrel, but will make it less difficult to get out of it. There are certain rules of conduct recommended by experts. As a guide to actions presented a memo based on the main rules, they have developed:

• As a rule, a quarrel arises due to excessive tension or obsession with the problem, and an irritated person is not able to adequately perceive the information. It is necessary to allow the party to the conflict to speak out, and afterwards to try to articulate his position with arguments.
• Quite often aggression caused by irritation appears in conflicts. In turn, anger arises from the inability to convey or impose their point of view. In such cases, it is worth switching the opponent's attention, transferring it to abstract objects that bring positive emotions. It is important not to show reciprocal aggression, otherwise there is a risk of not finding a decent resolution of the dispute.
• It is necessary to observe the culture of behavior. In the quarrels, both aggression and contempt of the opponent are unacceptable. You should not give an emotional assessment of the actions of another party to the conflict, insult his opinion, or simply defiantly ignore him.
• It is necessary to try to listen to the opponent's position, ask clarifying questions, and then briefly and competently state your opinion in the same way. Talking with him should be soft and as less aggressive as possible.
• One should not forget that, trying to prove his point of view with all available methods, one of the parties risks remaining completely misunderstood.
• If there is a consciousness of being wrong, the best way out of the conflict is a frank apology.

These important rules of conduct in a conflict situation are applicable both to disputes with the boss or colleagues, and to quarrels between close people.

The code of conduct in conflict situations from a professional coach in the next video will help you avoid unpleasant emotions.