The rules of etiquette at the table: norms and culture of behavior

Table activities are an exam for each person on knowledge of etiquette and good manners. Modern life is hard to imagine without going to a restaurant or visiting. Compliance with the rules will help both the guest and the host of the event to appear in society as an educated individual with properly grafted communication skills.

Often the concept of "ethics" and "etiquette" equate or unite. Ethics has a broader meaning. In speaking of it, one should keep in mind the individual moral and moral values ​​of the individual. Such human traits are brought up from early childhood. Typically, the depth and strength of the morality of an individual depends on interpersonal relations in the family (family model), methods of education, the efforts of educational institutions aimed at instilling good manners to schoolchildren, a friendly environment, personal character traits.

Etiquette is a set of specific rules that any well-bred person must adhere to.These are the norms of behavior adopted by society towards society as a whole or towards a specific individual in particular. You can be a highly moral person with extremely correct moral values, but not knowing good manners. And vice versa.

Table etiquette - the rules of how a person should behave in a restaurant, guests, at a picnic, the order of relationships between men and women, people of different ranks and ages at such events.

You can highlight the basic elements of how to behave during a feast. Such rules are known and understood by both children and adults. Therefore, you should start instilling good manners for yourself and the younger generation from the following bases:

• Observance of etiquette proxemics. It is important to properly accommodate guests at the table. Thus, the host of the event takes place at the head of the table, all important, honorary and senior guests are seated near the host on the right and left hand, youth and children at the opposite end of the table. Sometimes the youngest is given a separate children's table.
• It is very important to monitor the intonation that prevails in the voice during a conversation, the timbre, volume, tone, speed of speech. The voice should sound clear, no need to speak too quickly, loud exclamations are unacceptable. You can not talk with your mouth full.
• At the table you need to watch your gestures and posture. You can not fall apart on a chair, put your elbows on the table, sit, leaning his cheek with his hand, leg on the leg, waving his arms, especially if there are instruments in them.
• At the table you can not start a conversation that can provoke a dispute. Politics, religion, health and money are closed topics for conversation. You also can not discuss your diet, restriction in alcohol and foods that are allergic. It should silently postpone the wrong dish, replace alcohol with any other drink.

• A linen napkin should be spread on its knees, so the contamination of clothing is excluded, and it is also possible to wipe your hands on it imperceptibly.
• You can start eating when everyone has food on the plates, as well as after the host of the feast begins the meal.
• If during a meal you get a piece that is impossible to chew or a bone, you should quietly carry a napkin to your lips and remove the inedible element.
• During the feast, it is necessary to turn off the phone or put on silent mode. In no case can not put it next to the plate on the table.
• A woman’s handbag or clutch should be placed behind her on a chair, the bulk bag should be placed on the floor or hung on the back of a chair. Sometimes in restaurants offer a special chair for bags, you can use it. You can’t even put bags and bags on the table for a while.
• If the cutlery or food fell on the floor, you should not focus on this, you need to call the waiter and ask for a new one. You can not bend down under the table and pick up a fallen object.
• Do not use a toothpick at the dinner table. When there is a pause in the conversation, you need to apologize and leave the table. You can remove the stuck piece of food in the restroom.

Before you go to an event, you should learn more about its nature. This can help in the selection of attire, women - also in the selection of hairstyles and makeup.

If the event is official, most likely all the guests were offered a program. They usually indicate the start time, the time of the entertainment or official part, the buffet and the end of the evening.

Informal feasts are often more intimate and relaxed. Men can neglect ties, and ladies evening dresses to the floor. However, this does not exempt from the etiquette of behavior at the table.

Usually at the entrance to the restaurant guests are welcomed by a hostess or head waiter. The employee of the establishment offers its customers free tables and calls the waiter to accept the order. If there is no such position, you can ask any waiter to help you find a place or decide for yourself. A man escorts his lady to her place, usually to the left, helps to sit in a chair.

Further, the evening develops according to the classical scenario, each scene of which is regulated by the rules of etiquette:

• The menu brings a waiter and gives guests time to make a choice. The right of priority in the choice of dishes belongs to the woman. However, there is a common mistake that women often make. Saying “Order something to your taste” is absolutely impossible. Correct interpretation - “Advise, what is better to order? ".
• The order to the waiter makes a man after he listened to the wishes of the woman.
• Girls should not choose too cheap dishes, it may be a hint to a man that he, in her opinion, is not sufficiently well-off. But the choice of the most expensive dishes in relation to women can cause unnecessary speculation.

• Should take into account the specifics of the restaurant. If the event takes place in a Mediterranean restaurant, you do not need to order soup or dumplings.
• If the choice is difficult, you can call the waiter, to clarify what ingredients are present in the dish, what is the time of its preparation.
• You should not contact the waiter for "you", usually the employees of the institution have a personal badge on which the name is written.
• While waiting for the order should start small current. The topic of the conversation should be general, you should not go into details and go deep. The interlocutors should look each other in the eyes, speak not loudly so as not to disturb others, and also create an intimate meeting atmosphere.
• While the dishes are being prepared, the waiter can bring a bottle of wine as an aperitif. A male guest should not independently uncork it, or pour a drink. This is the task of the waiter. In order to pour the second glass, it is not necessary to wait for the waiter. First a lady is served, then a man can pour a drink for himself.The glass should be filled a little less than half.
• The glass should be held with three fingers for the leg. Thus, it will remain as clean as possible, and this is important for the aesthetic component, which is key to the concept of etiquette.

• To inform the waiter about the change of the dish, it is necessary to put the cutlery on the plate over the plate. A fork and a knife connected at the free end indicate that the meal is not over yet. It should be remembered that placing the devices on the table after use is absolutely impossible, their place is only on the plate.
• Do not try the dish of your partner. The only way to find out what it tastes like is to order the same.
• The restaurant is taken to eat slowly, enjoying the taste and process. Even if the feeling of feeling hungry is very strong, one should keep pace with the partner, otherwise he will perceive it as an escape or a desire to quickly leave the restaurant.
• When dinner is over, put a napkin to the left of the plate.
• Gentleman pays the first. A woman should not interfere, asking “How much? Or try to pay your half by depositing money to a man.
• If a man and a woman have friendly relations, payment of a 50/50 check is possible, then the man, after examining the check, calls the amount of her order to the woman, and they agree on a tip.

In the modern world, business meetings are often held in restaurants and cafes. This is especially true during international visits in the interests of business. The host country acquaints partners with the customs and culture of their country. In this case, the invited party should be familiar with the traditions before the event, so as not to offend their partners. Generally speaking, the following rules must be observed:

• First of all, a business meeting is a solution to a business issue. If it does not take place at lunchtime, then you should limit yourself to a cup of coffee or tea.
• During a meeting with a partner, you should adhere to the main principle: time is money. You can begin to address the issue immediately after the greeting, without being distracted by small talk.
• After discussing the issue, you should briefly summarize the meeting, if you have time, go to abstract topics in order to maintain personal relationships.
• During the international feast pays the inviting party. If a business meeting is limited to coffee or tea, then everyone pays for itself.

Historically, food intake in different nations of the world evolved in its own way, taking into account national peculiarities, the structure of life, the influence of conquerors, cultural and historical facts. In many countries, the rules of etiquette at the table echo each other. Thus, general international etiquette can be distinguished, but there is always a place of originality.

Russia is a big international country in which European standards of behavior at the table are officially adopted. However, given that in our country there are more than 190 nationalities, traveling through it, one can meet unusual traditions and standards of behavior at the table.

Among the Tatars, great importance is attached to etiquette proxemics at the table. The first begins the meal of the head of the family, only then the rest of the family and guests. They leave the table only when the head of the family came out. Before and after the meal, praise be to Allah.

The peoples of the Caucasus have other features. Each family member has his own role, which must be observed without prejudice. It is worth noting an important feature: men and women in the Caucasus do not eat together at the same table. At first men eat food, only then women and children.

Any big feast in the Caucasus must have a manager - “toast-master”. The oldest and honored guest of the event can become a toastmaster. He says toasts and gives the right to say a word to others. Caucasian feast without toast is not a feast. They are distinguished by an extraordinary pomp and exaltation of the master's merits.

In Mongolian peoples and Buryats, the guest at the table is first offered a cup of tea or vodka. The guest, taking the bowl, should put his right thumb in the drink and splash it in the direction of the hearth. Interestingly, such a custom here and there has indeed been preserved to this day. Of course customs of many nations are gradually weakening, more and more families are beginning to adhere to European standards of etiquette.

For those lucky enough to get an invitation to dinner in France, you should know:

• Lunch and dinner in France always begins with an aperitif, it is selected depending on the region. To drink a glass of wine, the French do not need a reason, they are starting to use a wine drink already from adolescence. Wine is selected strictly to the dish, which is expected. If it is fish - dry white wine, meat - dry red.
• Typically, the French eat out, as cooking is not accepted. In cafes, bistros and restaurants, meetings with friends and relatives are held, just a family dinner. Sometimes men and women visit a cafe to have a cup of coffee and read a book or newspaper.
• The French also love family gala dinners. Usually they consist of several innings, each of which has several dishes. The process of filing is conducted from right to left.
• While guests are being served a new dish, they cannot keep their hands under the table, on their knees - such a gesture can be regarded as distrust. Keep your wrists down at the corner of the tabletop.
• Large feasts in the circle of close friends and relatives are held with a complex table setting, all generally accepted standards of etiquette are observed.

• Careful attention should be given to the use of spices. Do not be too zealous - it can offend the hostess or the chef, since it can be assumed that the dish did not like it, that they want to “embellish” it.
• In France, it is not customary to ask for the addition of wine or its change. The French believe that only a specific wine can be consumed with a specific dish. Also, do not add ice to the wine glass. A change in temperature will affect the impression of the drink, and melting ice will change the taste.

The British are very scrupulous about compliance with standards of etiquette, especially at the table. Even in the circle of close friends and relatives dinner is held according to all the rules of good manners. Can say that The main rule of etiquette in England is respect for etiquette.

At the table should use the devices according to their purpose. The knife is held strictly in the right hand, the fork in the left. Shifting devices is not allowed, in addition, the sharp end of the knife and fork always look in the direction of the plate.

An unusual rule, but if the invited guest is allergic to any ingredient or has special requirements for products, you should warn the hosts 2 days before the event. At a large table in England it is unacceptable to have an intimate conversation with only one guest, the topic should be common to all, while it is not necessary to turn to a stranger.

Every time a new dish is served to a guest, you should say “thank you”.If there is a common dish on the table, do not put too much in your plate, you need to put so much that after the end of the feast the plate is clean. Otherwise, the host may find that the guest did not like the dish.

In Korea, it is also not customary to leave on a plate of uneaten rice or too much from another dish. Also, do not use a spoon and chopsticks at the same time, stir the soup with appliances, choose certain pieces and separate them from the main dish. Lunch needs to be finished by everyone at the same time.

Sometimes in Korean restaurants, the waiter serves a table without leaving him. His task is to ensure that guests always have food on their plates. Therefore, a satisfied guest must leave a small piece of an uneaten meal, which will be a signal that the additive is no longer required. The same rule applies to drinks.

The Chinese are very jealous of their traditions and customs, strictly follow them themselves and are very happy when foreign guests try to adhere to them.

Beginning the meal, the Chinese begin with flower tea. This drink serves as an aperitif, as well as entertains the audience until the other invited guests arrive.

In Chinese etiquette, the shape of the table is important - it is always a circle. The traditions of the country are very symbolic. So, the circle is the land, fertility and femininity. The center of the table rotates around an axis, and since all dishes are common, it is very convenient to rotate such a center to bring the desired dish closer. Despite the fact that all the dishes are common, anyone can make an individual order, but it should be noted that everyone can eat it too.

The Chinese will be very pleased if foreign guests use chopsticks while eating. And it is not necessary to keep them right. How convenient and correct. However, to use such a traditional device for other purposes is very uncultured. Do not use sticks as a pointer, gnaw them, just put it in your mouth. In the intervals between dishes, the chopsticks lie on a special stand, they should not be left on the plate, and it’s insulting to stick into food.

First, first courses are served - soups, which are the only portioned ones, then the “main meal” - rice or noodles, ends the evening with a dessert. It is not worth much to lean and overeat, a feast in China serves as an excuse to taste different dishes and enjoy their taste.

Turkey’s national customs are gradually being supplanted under Western influence. Restaurants and behavior there are fully switched to the rules of international etiquette. But in Turkish houses you can still face the fact that the owners observe the characteristics of life, personifying the history of the country.

For those who were invited to visit, you should know:

• Coming to the Turkish house, you should take off your shoes on the threshold in front of the door. Going into a house or apartment in outdoor shoes is unacceptable.
• The Turks eat at a low round table, sit in Turkish on the floor, their feet are hidden under the table top.
• You should never refuse the proposed food, it can offend the owners. You should try at least a small piece and praise the dish.
• Turks serve common dishes on a tray. Each guest fills his plate with a hand or a spoon. You should not choose pieces “better” - this is also indecent.
• Begin the meal after the approval of the head of the family.
• Feast usually last at least two hours. The Turks follow the order of the dishes, so after the main supply follows the supply of tea, coffee, sweets.Eat slowly, enjoying the process.
• Long stay at a party is also not worth it. We should thank politely for lunch or dinner and go away.

Observance of internationally accepted rules of etiquette is the best proof of good education. Any country in the world will appreciate good manners. Tourists and foreigners are often forgiven for ignorance of the peculiarities of the traditions and life of the country, but do not abuse their position.

There are several rules that should be followed when visiting a foreign country or an unfamiliar company:

• You can bring dessert to tea and give it to the hostess at the meeting;
• You should not sit at the table before the invitation of the host;
• You should not start eating before the host starts;
• No need to build a mountain of food on its plate, it is better to put on a bit of each dish, eat, and only then reach for the additive. This method will protect against overeating, and also allows you to leave a plate after a clean;
• Do not ask too many questions to the hosts or other guests;
• You should always be humble and friendly, be sure to thank the owners and note the culinary talent of the hostess.

How to behave at the table, see the next video.